The Mr :)

I realized that in being together almost a year, I haven't written much (if anything) about Shaun, so today I'm going to change that ;)

When Shaun and I met, I was recently single and not looking to get into any sort of relationship. I seemed to fight with him every step of the way, basically doing everything I could to push him away. I saw a quote once that said you build up walls to see who will work take the time to break them down, and that's exactly what Shaun did. It feels like all my past relationships have been so disfunctional that I wouldn't know a good relationship if it slapped me across the face. I didn't think that I would ever find someone who was good enough for me, and that I felt good enough for.

My whole life I've wanted a relationship where I felt safe and secure. Well, you can't feel much safer than when you are with a cop ;) But besides the gun and taser, Shaun has done everything in his power to show me that no matter how mad he gets at me, no matter how mad I get at him, even when I feel like screaming and walking out the door, he will always be there for me and love me unconditionally. To say I have abandonement issues is the understatement of the century, and I know that has caused multiple problems in my past, but for the first time in my life I have someone that understands that and works to keep me from running. And believe me, I tried. I've had major doubts, not so much about Shaun and our relationship, but about myself and basically talking myself out of the relationship. But I finally realized that at the end of the day, all I want to do is go home to Shaun and our dogs, and just be together. It doesn't matter if we are laying in bed, driving around in his patrol car, walking down the beach, or even doing chores around the house, as long as I'm with Shaun, I love every second.

I've had a ton of dreams about things not going right with the wedding, like I have no flowers and no music and I'm wearing an awful dress. But even in those horrible dreams as soon as I realize I'm walking down the aisle to Shaun, I'm overcome with an incredible feeling of happiness.

We drive each other crazy sometimes (I always leave the bathroom drawers open. He wears a gazillion shirts that have to be washed all the time) but I love him with all my heart. He's the first and last person I see every day. He's the person I turn to for advice, for love, for support. He's my best friend and I can't wait to marry him.

Love you sweeheart!!!  xoxo