One day I'll be better at this....

I kept waiting for something awesome and 'blog-worthy' to happen so I could finally update this, but I've just come to the realization that it doesn't always have to be something awesome that will make me write.

I randomly pulled out my old journals the other night and it's so strange to go back in time and remember everything I was feeling back then. I kept a lot of journals when I was in college and when I lived in California, and there's one common theme I found...

Lonely.

I was so lonely and I was trying to 'fix' it in all the wrong ways. I spent more time on the wrong guys and not enough time on myself. All I wanted was someone that would make me feel special and make me feel like I was good enough.

After I read those, I got a little sad honestly, mostly because there were some great times and I really missed the beach. But then I looked around my room and saw the engagement pictures of me and Shaun, and pictures from our wedding day, and our dogs sprawled out on our bed, and all those feelings just went away.

My life has no resemblance to the life I thought it would be. I never thought I would still be in Vernal. I never thought I would still be living at my Mom's house. And I most definitely never thought I would be married to a man like Shaun.

But my life isn't bad. In fact, my life is pretty damn good. I'm finally happy, and content, and feel like I'm right where I need to be at this point in my life.