I need to change. It's as simple as that.
I've been holding onto certain people/feelings/behaviors for years and even though I know they're bad for me, I keep going back for more. I know that if I see a certain person I'll feel certain feelings, and those feelings will make me act in a certain way, and all of those things from the person to the behavior are very unhealthy for me. It's extremely frustrating for me and very irritating for the ones around me.
How do you change yourself and how do you change habits you've had for years and years?
A big reason I moved away from Utah is because of these "habits" and the people that go with them. For some reason I thought that if I moved then all my problems would stay behind and I could go on with my life. WRONG!
So now here I am back in Vernal staring all my issues in the face. And what do I do? I let the bad habits and feelings take over where we left off before. It feels like nothing has changed.
But the frustrating part is I know that I've changed and I shouldn't be feeling all these things. Ahh see how maddening it is?!
Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. Maybe I wasn't trying to change at all. I'm not sure. But that's all going to change. Right here. Right now.
I don't want to live my life in "what-ifs" and "could have beens" anymore. I don't want to sit around and hope that "person" will change and things will be different. I just can't do it any longer.
Things are going to change.
I'm going to change.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Change is hard!
Its funny, today I taught the young women about repentance, and we decided the hardest part is moving on after they've done something and not dwelling on it and let it change you for bad, not good.
I think it applies to non religious, life stuff too. Its hard not to get bogged down.
Andrea I love you! I wish I could offer something great like you always do for me on these kind of blogs...but I suck lol. But I know you can do it, and if you ever need to talk i'm here!
Thanks so much for the support Natalie && Trista!! That really makes me feel SO much better :)
Hey Andrea! I know what you mean! Believe me. You saw what I went through. You just have to treat it like you would any other habit. It's so easy to react a certain way in the moment, to gain some temporary satisfaction, but it's best to take a deep breath and assess the situation first. When I want to react some way I first think. Do I want to be happy NOW or LATER. Pretty soon NOW will become LATER :) And by following my rules I made for myself, I have never been happier in my life. And I was able to move on :)
Change is VERY hard, I agree. But the thing to remember is that something neat happens when you make positive changes for yourself... You find your strength within :)
Post a Comment