From Best to Worst

Wow. It's been a crazy couple weeks!

On Friday the 13th I FINALLY got to see my favorite band in the world in concert!
RASCAL FLATTS!!!
Oh my gosh...they were amazing! I barely had a voice by the end of the new because I was singing so loud to every song!! Jessica Simpson opened for them and, I'm not gonna lie, she wasn't that great! She looked good and her voice was decent, but she was just so awkward on stage I couldn't help but laugh! The concert was outside and it was freezing that night...Who knew it could be so cold in San Diego! Good thing I was wearing my brother's shirt or I might have frozen to death! I loved their backgrounds and graphics. They kept changing so it was hard to get a decent shot of them. We were sitting kinda far back, but it was still an amazing concert.




That same day I also got my car back from the doctor :) I was so happy I almost cried!! She basically got a make over that weekend. All the body damage was fixed, and she got new tires and a new windshield after almost a year (oops!). She looks beautiful now!!

The next week things started getting stressful. My insurance called and said the lady I hit was now claiming a personal injury! BULL SHIT!! I barely hit her. Not even hard enough for my hood to be replaced, and my air bag never deployed, so how could I hit her hard enough for her to get hurt?! I was so stressed. Then later that night my Aunt Lola got put back in the hospital and no one was really sure what was going on.

So Wednesday I had the day off and decided to go to the beach. It was so nice and warm and sunny...then I get to the coast and it was cold and cloudy and windy :( I still hung out for a bit and tried to enjoy the day.

Thursday rolls around and I was on my way to a presentation when my sister in law called me. She said Lola was doing A LOT worse and they didn't expect her to make it through the night. They were booking plane tickets and leaving for Utah that night, but I had to wait until the morning to leave. I got to Utah on Friday and by that point Lola seemed to be doing better. I went to see her as soon as I got into town but she was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her. It was so difficult seeing her hooked up to all these machines and all the bruises on her arm from the IVs.

Saturday morning I got another phone call saying Lola got a lot worse during the night and they only thought she'd last another few hours. I hurried to the hospital and spent the rest of the day glued to her bedside. They transferred her from the ICU into a general room so everyone could be with her. That day was one of the worst days of my life. The pneumonia was eating away at her lungs so she kept spitting up blood. She could barely talk and was so weak. I didn't know a person could cry so much in one day.

Around 6:30pm, with her whole family surrounding her, Lola passed away.

It broke my heart watching her take her last breath, and seeing her chest rise and fall, and never rise again. It broke my heart even more to see my Grandma watch her baby sister die. My Granny was the last person Lola wanted to see when she died, and she died with her head in my Grandma's hands. We all just sat there and cried for what seemed like forever.

I stayed in Vernal all last week and just came back to California yesterday afternoon.

It's amazing how things can be so great one minute and absolutely horrific the next.

WE MISS YOU LOLA, AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Feb.13 1921-March 21, 2009

Victim Blaming

I never knew much about domestic violence or rape before I started my job. Now I feel like that's all I know and I see it everywhere. It can get really annoying when someone says something offensive about women/DV and I automatically go into advocate/educator mode.

Obviously I never wanted a woman to get beat, but when I heard about Chris Brown hitting Rihanna I was a little excited because FINALLY some attention would be paid to this issue and people could learn more about this epidemic.

THEN I check my e-mail this morning. There was a survey done in Boston and it says almost HALF of teens surveyed said they thought it was Rihanna's fault she was beat!! And to top that off, a "significant" number said that SHE was ruining HIS career!!

Are you kidding me?!?! When has a woman ever ASKED to be abused?! Oh, that's right, NEVER!!! I am seriously so irritated by people always blaming the victim. I know it's a defense mechanism so people can feel safe and feel like it can never happen to them, but OPEN YOUR EYES!! IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.


Look at this picture. Look at the bruises. The swelling. The split lip. She didn't deserve this. No woman or man deserves this.

A lot of media sites are criticizing her for going back to him. Did you know on average a battered woman will leave and come back to her abuser 7 times before she leaves for good? 7 TIMES!! The media obviously isn't paying much attention to the cycle of abuse or the dynamics of domestic violence because if they were they wouldn't say a word about this. It frustrates people because they don't understand how a person can keep going back to their abuser. Let me tell you, it's a lot easier said than done.

There's so much emotional abuse that comes into play, it's hard to explain. The abuser break you down, make you feel worthless, and make you feel like you deserve the abuse you're getting. Eventually you'll feel like you did this to yourself and have no right to leave. That's why people stay.

Why aren't we pointing the finger at Chris Brown and saying, "Why did you do this to a woman you claim to love? What made you think you could do this? What's wrong with YOU!?"

I could seriously go on and on about this for hours, but I'm going to stop. I just want to make sure I get one point across.

IT IS ABSOLUTELY, 100% NEVER THE VICTIM'S FAULT THEY WERE ABUSED!! I don't care what anyone says, no one deserves to be hurt or abused.

Think happy thoughts

It's been one of those weeks.

Technically 2 weeks, but who's counting.

My aunt has been in and out of the hospital, I've had drama with my sister, I rear ended the BMW last week, bills are starting to add up, I worked all week, and to top it off I miss the boyfriend like crazy. It feels like it's just one thing after another. I finally broke down and just cried for about 30 minutes last night.

After my cry session last night, I decided I needed to start looking at all the POSITIVE things in my life instead of the negative. So here is my list of "happy things" I have to be thankful in my life.

• I still have my job. With how things are going in the economy, and especially in the non-profit world, I'm extremely lucky to still have a full time job with full benefits.
• My car accident. Even though it sucks I hit that lady, things could have been a lot worse! No one was injured, we both had insurance, and everything was taken care of within 48 hours. I'm really lucky things happened the way they did.
• I have a place to live. Again, with the way the economy is many people lost their houses and ended up homeless or living in their car.
• Bills. Or my lack thereof. I'm not in a huge amount of debt and I can pay all my bills every month, so that's something to be thankful for.
  
• My family. My family has always been there to support me, financially and emotionally. My Mom is normally the first person I call whenever something big happens. I called her when I was still in the parking lot when I got hired to my job and the first one I called when I hit the beemer.
  
• My friends. Gah, they've heard me bitch and complain more than any group of friends should ever have to deal with. They listen, they give advice, they buy me food. They're amazing!
  

So even though things have been wild and crazy lately, I've still got a wonderful life and have many many things to be thankful for :)

Look Mom!! No Hands!!

This morning I'm driving to work ((before it was even 8am!)), minding my own business, when all of a sudden traffic decides to stop! I slammed on the brakes but it was too late...

BAMM!!!

Poor Baby C hit the back bumper of a BMW :(

The lady was super nice, but I think we were both still in shock so we didn't really know what to do/say. We exchanged insurance/personal info and then went along with our day. I was on my way to a high school to do presentations and I was still so freaked out when I got there I don't know how I even drove there. I was really shaken up for the next couple hours so I can only imagine how unprofessional and unprepared I looked while doing the presentations.

Got through the day, called the insurance people, and tomorrow I'm going to see how much it's going to cost to fix the poor thing. I feel so bad for my little car. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love that car!!

Once I get my tax return then I'll be able to pay the deductible and get her looking all pretty again.

it's a....BOY!!

YAY!!!

My bro&&sis-in-law just found out today they're having a little boy! I was REALLY hoping it would be a girl, but I'm still so excited!! Guess I'll have to count on Sydney to give me a niece :) They even bumped up the due date to July 15 so I won't have to wait an extra 10 days to meet the lil guy!