Would I be out of line if I said, "I Miss You?"

You would think that after 3 years I would be over him.

You would think that after 3 years I'd stop thinking about him every day.

You would think that after 3 years I could listen to Edwin McCain without crying.

You would think that after 3 years I would have moved on and found someone else.


Some days I feel good where I am in my life and think that if things had worked out with him then I wouldn't be where I am in my life.

But then there are the other days where all I can think is, "What if...what if we had stayed together and gotten married? Would I be happier? Would it be worth it?"

That's the problem with "what-if's"...you'll never know.

I miss him. I miss seeing him. I miss kissing him. I miss laying down with him. I miss talking to him. I miss watching movies with him. I miss hearing him tell me, "I love you." I miss everything about him-about us.

A lot of people think I'm pathetic and I need a life and should just get over it already. Trust me, I feel the exact same way. If I could stop feeling like this I would. I would give up my life right now to stop feeling this way every day. It's miserable and heart breaking and so incredibly lonely.

I've tried so hard to move on, but it's much easier said than done. Every guy I meet I compare to him. Does he make me laugh like he did? Did I get that incredible feeling like the first time he kissed me? Can I see myself with this guy like I did with him?

I'm hoping that by writing this in the open that I may FINALLY start to get some closure and be able to move on with my life. I'm happy for him and his beautiful family but a part of me will always wish that it was me instead of her.