Missing: Christmas Cheer

I saw this on PostSecret today and it completely summed up my mood lately. I've been so stressed out with school ((papers, tests, reading, etc.)), applying for programs and lack of money, I haven't been in the best of moods. I can barely pay my bills this month, let alone buy Christmas for all my family and friends. I know Christmas isn't about the monetary things and that we should all focus on caring and helping others, but it's still so frustrating.

In my building's laundry room is a spot where you can leave free stuff for others in the buildings. Most of the time there are only books, but tonight when I was doing my laundry I saw a whole box full of Christmas stuff. Normally I'm not one of those people that get all excited about lights and trees and decorations, but tonight I figured I'd give it a shot. (And it was free so even better!)

I put up the string of lights around my only window and put a few decorations up and realized I was in a better mood. I don't know what changed, but suddenly I didn't feel like cursing the world and going into hibernation until winter was over. Things started to look brighter and cheerier [if that's even a word].

Things aren't bad, they're just stressful, but so is life I guess.

I promise I have more dishes than this. They're just in the sink :)

Lights around my window--and my "kitchen table" that's actually a card table

Protector of the Innocent

I have to tell an awesome story, actually 2, about my oldest nephew. It brings a smile to my face and gives me a little more faith in people these days.

Gage has always been a really calm, easy going kid. I loved watching him as a baby because he always went to bed early and didn't fuss a lot. He's 8 years old now (9 in January) and still is really chill.

But he's a BIG KID. Not fat, but TALL and STOCKY. He's 8 and the top of his head comes to my chin! He towers over all the other kids in his class, but honestly he's just like a big teddy bear.

A few years ago when Gage was in kindergarten he was walking home from school (my grandma lives 2 blocks from his school). On his way he saw a "big kid"-probably a 3rd grader, picking on another kid-probably a 1st grader. Gage, as a 6 year old, told me what happened next.
"I walked over and pushed the big kid, and then he said, "You wanna fight?" and I said, "Yeah! Bring it on"-in my head, and then we started wrestling, and then a teacher came and I got up and ran to Grandma's"

hahaha I loved how he told me the story...Especially the "in my head" part! I loved how even though he was the youngest in the group, he was still sticking up for other kids!

I called my Dad the other day and asked how everyone was doing and he started to tell me that Gage got in trouble at school :( .

Well my little Protector-of-the-Innocent got in a fight with a kid in his class because the kid had stolen a pair of shoes or something from a little girl and was taunting her and picking on her. The teacher didn't do anything so Gage took matters into his own hands. He somehow grabbed the kids and dropped him to the floor! haha That's what happens when you mess with Gage Michael Geske!

I'm so proud of my nephew! He is such a smart, caring, funny boy and can always bring a smile to my face!

LOVE YOU GATOR!

Me and Gage in June 2006

Thanksgiving 2008: FUNNY FACES :)

Hanging out at Sea World in July 2009

Slacker

Life as a grad student has been crazy! I'm actually trying to get good grades this go around and that (apparently) requires A LOT of time spent in the library and doing a ton of reading! Don't get me wrong-I love my classes and the discussions are great and the assignments are pretty interesting-I'm just not use to doing so much work! But it's paying off...

I got a 100% on my Health Comm test :) YAY ME AGAIN! haha I decided that's what I'm going to pursue my Masters in...Health Communication. Now we just have to wait and see if any program will accept me!!

It was my birthday last week and it was SO MUCH FUN! A few people bailed on me, but the people that did show up made it perfect! We went to a dueling piano bar in SLC called Tavernacle and then went dancing at a gay club called Babylon. The whole night was just what I needed!

This is my "fancy" outfit! haha I never get dressed up but I figured since I'm now 23 I can handle doing it every once in a while.


Saturday was Halloween and I just wasn't in the mood to do much of anything! I worked Friday night, Saturday morning and then stood for 3 hours at the Utah Blackout Game and all I wanted to do was sit down!! But here are a couple pictures from the game...




Like I said earlier, things are just so busy and crazy I haven't had time to do a whole lot. I was liking being back in Salt Lake, until it snowed last week! Ugh...I wanted to pack my bags and head back to San Diego! But in a few years after my degree is finished I'll be able to go anywhere I want. Most likely somewhere snow free!


I'll try and be better about keeping this updated!

Flu Bug

I've had the flu since Sunday and, let me just tell ya, it's horrible!!

It's been about 5 years since I've even been sick and I'm not the best patient in the world. But I guess there are some upsides to being sick:

No school. No work. Lots of naps :)

The downsides:

I was forced to wear a mask in the dr.'s office ((and I actually started crying)). Every time I sneeze, I start coughing && it feels like I'm coughing up a lung. I can't swallow, which means I can't eat, and I LOVE eating! And my medicine tastes horrible...

So that's been my life the last 3 days :(

Did I mention I'm going crazy sitting at home doing NOTHING?! Ahhh

A+ Student--or at least trying

It's been almost a month since I've posted anything and this time it's because I've been so busy! I basically skated through my undergrad years and only did enough to get by but this time I've been studying non stop!! It's crazy that only 3 classes could require so much work and effort. Now I'm remembering why I didn't like school to begin with! haha

The classes have been going great! I took my first test on Thursday and found out today I got a 94% on it!! YAY ME!! I was so relieved! I still have the lingering thoughts of all those papers floating around in my head (not looking forward to it!) but other than that things are going great. I'm looking into another Masters program here at the U in Public Health and will probably be applying to that too. It seems strange for a Comm major to look at Public Health but I'm taking a Health Comm class right now and LOVE IT!! So we'll see...

Work is going fine. The other day some jack ass tried to walk out on his ticket, then lied to my manager, and when she didn't give him a discount he didn't tip me! JERK!! I was not a happy camper...

Overall-LIFE IS STILL GOOD :)

On this episode of THE 801...

Being back in SLC has been amazing so far!!

School started on Monday and, even though I was a little nervous, everything went great! My teachers seem really nice and the work load isn't too bad...except that in the next 17 weeks I have to write 80 pages worth of papers! ugh... Lots of reading && writing this semester. Lucky me!

I got a job : ) : ) yay!! I only had one interview and they offered me the position before I walked out the door. The job is a server position at Red Lobster. I've never served before so I'm a little nervous that I'll drop food on someone or not be able to remember the menu. Hopefully after the training I won't be as nervous.

Also, I cut my hair on Friday!! I've been attempting to grow it out for years and I'm doing pretty good this time. I just got a little trim but I added some bangs to the new 'do.




Overall this has been a great couple weeks!! Lots of time spent with friends, lots of laughs, and lots of sleeping in (since my first class starts at 10:45am).

I love being back in the city!!

The last month...

So I wish I could say that I've so super busy that I haven't had time to blog, but the truth is I've been lazy! haha Mostly I've just been hanging out with my family and friends my last month in Vernal. I haven't spent this much time in Vernal since I graduated high school so it was an interesting experience being back there. Obviously I'll go back there all the time because of my family but I'm SO glad to be out of there and back to SALT LAKE!!

I moved into my apartment on Tuesday and I LOVE IT!! I'm back in my old building that I lived in for almost 2 years. My apartment is much smaller but I'm just happy to be without roommates again! I'm still scarred from my experience in California (1 room...3 girls...NOT a good idea!) My car has her underground parking spot again and I'm only 2 blocks away from school.

Speaking of school- I finally heard back from the U about my residency. And the verdict is...

I GET IN STATE TUITION!!!

Oh man you have no idea how bad I was stressing about that! They lost my paperwork so I had to resend everything a couple weeks ago and I just barely found out I got my residency reinstated yesterday!! I was freaking out a little bit.

The only downside is my job fell through so now I have no income any time soon. Today I'm going to apply at every place I can think of and if that doesn't work the U is having a huge job fair next week so that's always an option.

I take the GRE on Saturday and I should be more nervous than I am, but I know I'm going to retake it so I'm not too stressed out. I'm more worried about my classes that start on Monday. I haven't taken classes for 2 years and it will be an adjustment to get back into the student role.

Well I have A LOT to get done today so I should probably get off my couch, turn off Rachel Ray, and hop in the shower...

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

Thursday night was the KENNY CHESNEY CONCERT!!! Oh my gosh I was so excited!! I love Kenny and to make things that much better I got free tickets from my sister ((thanks Sheri!)) My friend Maggie went with me even though she had no clue who Kenny was, but we still had a blast! Sugarland was supposed to perform but they had to cancel last minute :( Lady A' was WAY good but Miss Miranda Lambert got on my nerves after about 2 songs. Kenny FINALLY starting singing and it made all the waiting in the 110 degree heat worth it!!

Being bored while we were waiting for Kenny

Those fans saved our lives! It was SOOO hot!

Miranda Lambert STILL singing...She sang forever!

My sis && her hubby!

SISTERS!

You can totally tell we're related...we're making the same face! haha

KEN-NY! KEN-NY!

I loved that he started wearing a University of Utah hat :)

GO UTES! haha

At the end of the concert...It was SO MUCH FUN!

I didn't take many pictures during the actual concert, but there were so many funny drunk people dancing around us that I had to get a video of one of them! I felt like we should have been paying this lady for her strip-tease/dirty dancing services. She was outta control but hilarious! I was kinda sad because she was relatively calm when I took this video, but at the beginning you can see her guy grabbing her butt then at the end she falls over on the seats lol! **sorry it's not the best but my phone can only do so much!

Ugly Eye

So on Saturday we left California and came back to Utah. I got back to Vernal and ended up taking a walk with my Mom and then completely passed out in my bed--still wearing my clothes && contacts.

Sunday morning, well, technically afternoon, I wake up and my eyes were really bugging me. I figured it was just because I slept in my contacts and they were still adjusting to the dry air. I go about my day and around 4pm I look at my eye and it's bright red!! It freaked me out so bad so I hurried and took out my contacts && put on my glasses. It hurt so bad to walk outside and into the light. I Googled what red eyes mean and the 2 most likely candidates were an infection or an ulcer and both required immediate attention. By this time it was 10pm so there wasn't much I could do.

I called Seitz first thing this morning and they got me in around 11am. My eye wasn't quite so red and didn't hurt that bad so I almost canceled the appointment. I got there and the doc examined it and said it was a VERY good thing that I came in when I did because if I would have waited any longer I could have done some serious damage to my eye. YIKES!!! There was a tiny white circle around my cornea and he said it's a thing called an eye infiltrate. It basically goes hand in hand with an eye ulcer and is an accumulation of blood cells and fluid build up behind my eye. He said to think of it like a snow ball being thrown at a wall.

After he said the word "ulcer" I kinda freaked out and didn't catch all that he was saying. He put me on an antibiotic that I have to take once an hour today and once every 2 hours tomorrow. I have to go back in Wednesday morning and if it's not any better he'll put me on high dose steriods and still continue with the antibiotics until Sunday. Fun for me, huh?

Okay, this is honestly probably the worst photo of me ever taken but I just wanted to show you guys how ugly my eye looks today! I wasn't a very happy person today to say the least...

BABY SHANE IS HERE!!!

Baby Shane finally made his big debut this morning! My poor sis in law was about 4 days overdue and not very happy about it. She was having pre labor pains for the last week and just wanted this kid out of her! Her docs said they'd induce her on Thursday so she kept calling the hospital to see if they had any room and around 5pm they finally called and told her to come in.

The hospital was so dumb because they wouldn't let ANYONE even sit in the waiting room while she delivered, so none of us were there. And then once he was born no one could see him for another 2 hours. It was really dumb.

She said the labor wasn't bad at all and all they had to do was break her water and he came out pretty fast. She only pushed for 20 minutes and out came Shane!

So here are some pictures of my cute lil nephew :)

WELCOME TO THE WORLD SHANE ROBERT STRINGHAM!!!!

Some people change

I need to change. It's as simple as that.

I've been holding onto certain people/feelings/behaviors for years and even though I know they're bad for me, I keep going back for more. I know that if I see a certain person I'll feel certain feelings, and those feelings will make me act in a certain way, and all of those things from the person to the behavior are very unhealthy for me. It's extremely frustrating for me and very irritating for the ones around me.

How do you change yourself and how do you change habits you've had for years and years?

A big reason I moved away from Utah is because of these "habits" and the people that go with them. For some reason I thought that if I moved then all my problems would stay behind and I could go on with my life. WRONG!

So now here I am back in Vernal staring all my issues in the face. And what do I do? I let the bad habits and feelings take over where we left off before. It feels like nothing has changed.

But the frustrating part is I know that I've changed and I shouldn't be feeling all these things. Ahh see how maddening it is?!


Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. Maybe I wasn't trying to change at all. I'm not sure. But that's all going to change. Right here. Right now.

I don't want to live my life in "what-ifs" and "could have beens" anymore. I don't want to sit around and hope that "person" will change and things will be different. I just can't do it any longer.

Things are going to change.

I'm going to change.

A camping we will go

I've only been in town about 5 days and I'm already getting back to my redneck roots. CAMPING TIME BABY!

My sister and brother in law, along with their puppies, came out from Salt Lake so we did a quick overnight camping trip. I'm not a big outdoors person, but I'm determined to change that so it was actually a lot of fun this time. Even the herd of cows that kept creeping into our campsite was pretty entertaining!

Even though it's not the ocean, it's still really pretty!

Flaming Gorge

The cows thought they were smart and kept trying to sneak up on us.

Life Is A Highway

I finally did it.

I moved back to Utah.

I left California Tuesday and 12 hours later I was sitting in my old room in Vernal. I think I'm still in a bit of shock/denial about the whole thing. Right outside Barstow I lost it and started crying so hard. And then again outside St. George. And then again in Daniels Canyon past Heber. It was a pretty emotional journey.

Today has been better. I started getting stuff ready for school and I got to see my nephews, which made me VERY happy :)

Here are some pictures from my last day in Cali and the drive to Utah...

Oh man I miss this so much already!

Last sunset in Carlsbad

Trying to enjoy the sunset, but really I was crying behind the sunglasses :(

Isn't is so beautiful? I love it!

WELCOME TO UTAH!

Driving through Daniels Canyon

Happy Dad's Day!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY OLD GUY!!

I LOVE YOU!!

Thanks for always being there when I need you the most...Whether I'm crying, screaming, laughing, or just need advice, I know you're only a phone call away. I love you Dad!!



Okay, now I'm going to seem like a bad daughter-or at least step daughter because it just dawned on me I have NO PICTURES of my amazing step dad TOM anywhere to be found....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TOM!!! Thanks for putting up with me during my "bad" years and always being a friend to me. I love you!

Beach Bonfire + Skydiving = AMAZING!

I'm about a week behind in posting these, but here are some pictures from 2 of my "bucket list"... Beach Bonfire && Skydiving!! The bonfire was so much fun!! I spent most of the day at the beach and it was so great to be there as the sun was setting...It was amazing!! I'm so glad I have such good friends down here that came up all the way from SD...You girls are all so wonderful and amazing and I'm so so glad I met you!! I'm going to miss you all so much!!

Such a beautiful sunset :)

Tammy, Elaine, Melissa, me and Chai Tea

Tammy, Elaine, me and Natalie

The next morning after the bonfire was skydiving!! Holy cow it was crazy! I thought I'd be a lot more nervous then I actually was but it was still pretty intense. I wasn't really scared until I watched the people jump before me...then I screamed! haha It was so incredible and I can't wait to do it again!!

Don't I look sexxxy? haha

This is me with my crazy instructor...Andy&&Andie!


Here's the video they made for me...but stupid YouTube disabled the sound! LAME!! Anywho, the actual jump is from about 3.50-6.00 so feel free to watch!!

Blood anyone?

Yesterday while I was working an event the San Diego Blook Bank showed up. A lot of people were donating to the Women's Resource Center so I figured I'd give back a little and donate some blood! I was a little nervous but I knew it was for a good cause so I sucked it up and went to the van.

I thought the process would take a lot longer. I filled out an application, then met with a nurse and had my iron levels checked. Everything passed so they told me to sit down and get comfortable. The needle part wasn't that bad, but I will admit I got a bit light headed when the blood started flowing. But I just took a few deep breaths and I felt fine. The actual blood draw was about 10 minutes but then I had to sit there for 15 minutes afterward.

I'm so glad that I did this! I've wanted to for a long time but kept finding reasons why I "couldn't". I feel so great that I was able to help someone else. I highly recommend that if you can donate, do it!

Trying to remember to squeeze the foam thingy

One of the nurses made me this cute bow.
After that everyone who donated had a cute bow made for them too!

ALL DONE!!